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A lot of people think that acceptance is a sign of weakness and need. But it is just the opposite! Acceptance can be a spiritual value. To be an accepting person is to act out of inner strength. Acceptance is to receive what is offered, whether by God, others, or life itself.
Does that mean we have to accept everything and everyone who comes into our life? Not at all! We don’t have to accept injustice, poverty, oppression, violence, war, abuse, etc. but we do have to accept our fellow human beings as our brothers and sisters, children of our Creator-God. We may not be able to change the circumstances in which we find ourselves but we can change some things beginning with ourselves. There are things in you and in me that we don't like, but you can't change me and I can't change you.
To change we must first accept the truth about ourselves and then change the behaviours we don’t like or that are hurtful to other people. This means accepting the whole truth, that each one of us is a mixture of deep-down goodness and a whole lot of undesirable qualities; that each one’s life is a God-given gift to be received and treasured, and that is the secret of acceptance.
It means we must know, accept and love ourselves so that we can truly love others. There is a big difference between loving and liking. We don’t have to like everything about ourselves or others but we do have to love the person(s). Love is not a feeling but a decision to be good to or, at least, to not harm self or others. Each of us a gift from the One who created us out of love. Now, a gift is not necessarily perfect but, because it is a gift from someone who loves us, we accept it, we receive it even if we do not like or want it.
Most of the evils of the world begin in the human heart. Anger, greed and the desire for power are the roots of evil actions against people and the earth on which we live. They are found in individuals and can be overcome by individuals who, alone or with others, counteract them with thoughts, words and actions that are compassionate, loving, forgiving and generous toward others.
What about God's will? Don’t we have to accept that? The problem is that we have a mistaken idea of what God's will is. God does not will evil, poverty, oppression, pain, suffering, death or destruction. These come from the misuse of the gift of free will which is given to every human being. Natural disasters like floods, forest fires, earthquakes and hurricanes are now seen to be the result of the abuse of the Earth and its resources at the hands of greedy and uncaring humans. So, what IS God's will for us? St. Paul said it well in his letter to the first Christians in Ephesus. “God has made known to us the mystery of his will… to bring all things in heaven and earth together into one...” (Ephesians 1: 9-10). God wants us to experience our oneness as God’s handiwork, God’s creation. One way to come to this is through the well-known "Serenity Prayer."
—Reinhold Niebuhr
A sure way of changing how we feel about another is to find a quiet spot and imagine that we are surrounded by God's love. Then imagine that other person sitting opposite you ALSO surrounded by God's love. The same love embraces both of you. God loves and embraces you both. Let this truth sink into your very being and slowly, over time, you will find that acceptance has found a home in your heart.
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Last updated: January 15, 2010 -- 02:23:49 pm